By Fauzia Saeed (Psychologist), PRC Punjab Branch Lahore.
INFERIORITY COMPLEX
“We should not be astonished if in the cases where we see an inferiority complex we find a superiority complex more or less hidden. On the other hand, if we inquire into a superiority complex and study its continuity, we can always find a more or less hidden inferiority complex.”
“If a person is a show-off, it is only because she or he feels inferior because she or he does not feel strong enough to compete with others on the useful side of life. That is why she or he stays on the useless side. She or he is not in harmony with society. It seems to be a trait of human nature that when individuals – both children and adults – feel weak, they want to solve the problems of life in such a way as to obtain personal superiority without any admixture of social interest. A superiority complex is a second phase. It is a compensation for the inferiority complex.”
SUPERIORITY COMPLEX
“The superiority complex is one of the ways that a person with an inferiority complex may use as a method of escape from her or his difficulties. She or he assumes that she or he is superior when she or he is not, and this false success compensates her or him for the state of inferiority which she or he cannot bear. The normal person does not have a superiority complex; she or he does not even have a sense of superiority. She or he has the striving to be superior in the sense that we all have ambition to be successful; but so long as this striving is expressed in work it does not lead to false valuations, which are at the root of mental disease.”
From Alfred Adler’s point of view, an individual faced with a task wants to overcome or master the task. This is known as striving for superiority. For a well-adapted individual, this striving is not for personal superiority over others, but an overcoming of the task, or finding useful answers to questions in life. When faced with the task, the individual will experience a feeling of inferiority or a sense that the current situation is not as good as it could be. This feeling is similar to stress. If the individual has not been properly trained, the task may seem too much to overcome and lead to an exaggerated feeling of inferiority, or intense anxiety. The individual may, after several unsuccessful attempts to accomplish the task, give up on mastering the task, experiencing the inferiority complex, or a depressed state. The individual may also make several attempts at solving the problem and find a solution to the problem that causes problems in other areas. An individual who answers the question “How can I be thin?” by not eating will become thin, but at the cost over their overall health.
An individual who is not properly trained to answer life’s problems may turn from striving for superiority in useful ways to that of a personal superiority at all cost. If an individual cannot be better than another on their own merit, they will attempt to tear down another person or group to maintain their superior position.
CAUSES OF SUPERIORITY COMPLEX
Superiority complex is usually a direct result of an underlying inferiority complex. Because the person suffers from feelings of inferiority he compensates by moving in the opposite direction which is acting superior.
SUPERIORITY COMPLEX AND CONFIDENCE
You should not mix superiority complex with self confidence. Some people have developed a feeling of confidence in a certain life field based on true facts they know about themselves.
For example you may feel very confident about public speaking if you’ve been practicing it for years and still it doesn’t mean that you feel superior to others or that you have inferiority feelings. It just means that you know yourself well and that you are confident.
PROBLEM WITH SUPERIORITY COMPLEX
The problem with superiority complex is that even though the person knows that he feels inferior deep within still he acts arrogantly.
That person may refuse to see a psychiatrist for example because he feels superior to him and will thus never get a proper treatment.
I ADMIT IT. WHAT DO I DO NOW?
In the Solid Self confidence program i explained that in order to overcome superiority complex you must first remove the underlying inferiority complex.
Cutting off the branch of the tree won’t bring the tree down and the branch will grow back. You have to cut off the root in order to prevent the tree from every growing again.
By treating the cause of inferiority you’ll get rid of the superiority complex.
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DID THAT HELP? Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a type of mental condition. When a person suffers from it, he views himself as more important than he is, at least to others. He also tends to need and desire the admiration of others far more than most people consider normal. A person with this condition often disregards how other people feel and what they need, as he feels that others are inferior. However, this mental condition is complex, as the sufferer tends to have shaky self-esteem, even while he exaggerates his own importance.
This mental condition is categorized as a personality disorder. Narcissistic personality disorder, like similar disorders that affect the personality, is marked by personality traits and behaviors that cause distress in social situations and often strain personal relationships. These traits and behaviors may also cause problems with performance in school or at work. A person with this disorder may be seen as overly emotional and dramatic, which may eventually push family, friends, and associates away.
Typically, a person with NPD will believe he is better than others and may indulge in fantasies concerning amazing levels of success and far-reaching power. He may have an exaggerated view of his own attractiveness and achievements, and feel a need for continuous praise. He may set unreasonable goals and feel deeply wounded by any type of criticism.
When a person has narcissistic personality disorder, his relationships may be strained because he takes advantage of others and refuses to recognize their feelings. He may expect total cooperation with his plans and give the appearance of lacking emotions. A person with this disorder may feel that others are jealous of him, even as he feels jealous of others.
For some, it may be hard to distinguish narcissistic personality disorder from a high level of self-esteem. However, the difference is that a person with this disorder goes beyond feeling simply good about himself to putting himself high on a pedestal from which he can look down, with disdain, on others. People often view those with this condition as conceited and pretentious. They may accuse suffers of monopolizing conversations and being boastful.
No one knows for sure what causes this personality disorder. Some people think it may be genetic while others point to childhood traumas, abuse, and neglect as possible causes. In some cases, excessive childhood pampering may play a role. No matter what the cause, psychotherapy usually plays a major role in treatment.
HOW TO OVERCOME THE INFERIORITY/SUPERIORITY COMPLEX
In his speech to the United Nations Assembly last night, the President Obama referred to the “crude and disgusting” video on the Prophet of Islam. He also heavily talked about the civiil vs. uncivil ways to respond to those who criticize you.
As a politician he cannot talk about the root cause of the problems people have. He cannot talk about the cure of the physical or mental disorders people (who are hypersensitive to criticism) suffer from. What is the root cause of their problem? What is the cure? The quick answer is “To have faith in God”, for faith in God is the cure that always works for those who suffer from the so-called inferiority/superiority complex, for by definition faith looks to God, not men, so a faithful man takes his eyes off of people, looks up to God who has made each person to be uniquely valuable, finds his own value before God and men, and thereby remains categorically immune from contracting the disease (infreior/superior complex), because those who feel inferior (or superior) to others do so because they look at people, compare themselves with others (who are all different) and therefore remain condemned to either feel infirior or superior, and cause themselves and others suffer from all sorts of ill-consequences such as broken relationships. So here is a test for the inferiority complex (I copied from a website – qatarliving.com) 1. SENSITIVITY TO CRITICISM:
Although people who feel inferior “know” they have shortcomings, they do not like other people to point this out. They tend to perceive any form of criticism, regardless of how sensitively or constructively it is presented, as a personal attack. 2. HYPERCRITICAL ATTITUDE:
People who do not feel good about themselves have trouble feeling good about anyone else. They look hard for flaws and shortcomings of others to try to convince themselves that they really aren’t so bad after all. These people cannot feel intelligent, attractive, competent, etc., unless they are the most intelligent, attractive and competent person around. 3. INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO FLATTERY:
This can work two ways. Some people are desperate to hear anything good about themselves and will be constantly fishing for compliments. Others may refuse to listen to anything positive about themselves because it is inconsistent with their own feelings.
4. TENDENCY TOWARD BLAMING:
Some people project their perceived weaknesses onto others in order to lessen the pain of feeling inferior. From here, it is only a short step to blaming others for one’s failures.
5.FEELINGS OF PERSECUTION:
Carried to its extreme, blaming others can extend to believing that others are actively seeking to ruin you. If a man is fired from his job, for example, it may comfort him to believe that his boss was out to get him. It allows him to avoid personal responsibility for his failure.
6. NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOUT COMPETITION:
People who feel inferior like to win games and contests every bit as anyone else, but they tend to avoid such situations because deep down, they believe they cannot win. And not coming in first is clear evidence of total failure.
7. TENDENCY TOWARD SECLUSIVENESS AND TIMIDITY:
Because people with an inferiority complex believe that they are not as interesting or intelligent as others, they believe that other people will feel the same way about them. So they tend to avoid social situations, and when they are forced to be with others, they will avoid speaking up because they believe doing so will only provide an embarrassing demonstration of their dullness and stupidity.
